Let me recommend much prayer to you: not only that praying frame of mind, which a Christian should continually possess, but frequent acts of secret prayer. And not only pray, but wait and expect the answer. I long, I love to hear, that you are sinking deeper in the knowledge of yourself, and rising higher in the love of God.
If I had time I should give you a week’s journal. Sunday se’nnight I received the sacrament from Mr. _Madan_. It was indeed the communion of the body and blood of Christ. His banner over me was love. I was constrained to say, How plentiful is thy goodness, which thou hast laid up for the sons of men!
I hear frequent mention of persons who have great grace; some of whom are called _perfect_. I do not much like the term: but I am persuaded, the only way to overcome sin, and to inherit all things, is by enjoying uninterrupted communion with our God. I found something of this on Monday, and was much refreshed with the presence of the Lord. But on Tuesday I found my heart ready to depart from the living God. Yet I had reason to wonder and adore the grace that would not let me go. On Thursday I heard Mr. _Whitefield_, and had cause to rejoice with reverence. On Friday night a watch was kept at the Foundery, and I found the promise literally fulfilled, _They that trust in the Lord shall renew their strength_. Indeed his mercies are so oft repeated, that if I had not the most ungrateful heart, I should be always praising him. But I often find such an inward contest with pride, self-will, impatience, and all the legion which is contrary to the mind of Christ, that I groan being burthened: Yet I am persuaded, he can save to the uttermost, and believe he will save even me. Even now my soul rejoices in hope. He will perfect what is lacking in either of our spirits. O trust him with all your heart! Lean not to your own understanding. Believe the Lord; so shall you prosper. Be vigilant in all things; so shall you disappoint our enemy, and bring glory to our everlasting friend. Unto his protection I commit you, until the day we meet to part no more.
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_May 6, 1760._
I AM glad you are so conscious of danger. It is necessary to be exceedingly afraid of our hearts departing from the living God; this never goes without correction: and though these chastisements are proofs of his love, yet beware you do not bring them upon yourself.
I look upon your being at that place, as a very particular providence; yet I feel for you. I know many of nature’s latent mazes will be discovered to you. Perhaps the cause and the effects will pain you. And what shall I say to comfort my friend? I cannot give the waters of consolation: such power belongs unto God only. O may he undertake for you in every hour of oppression! You may this moment find relief, by looking to an exalted Redeemer. I have been asking, that we might drink deep into the spirit of a crucified Saviour. Indeed I knew not the depth of what I asked: Lord, make us strong, to bear the answer of our request! Make us esteem it our greatest privilege, to taste that cup of which thou drankest so largely! Only saying with thee, _If it may not pass from me, Father, thy will be done_.
It is his absolute promise, _From all your idols will I cleanse you_; and your heart hath said, Amen! Do you now retract your petition? Do you not rather say still, in spite of nature’s struggle, “Let all my heart be thine?” Is your _Isaac_ called for? Ascend the mount, bid all things contrary to resignation stay behind. Have you endeavoured to do this, and are you still interrupted by the birds of prey? Are you still molested, when you would offer the sacrifice which God requires? O watch and keep off those enemies to your peace! And he that is your peace shall give you power.
Yes, “when your all of strength doth fail, You shall with the God-man prevail.”
He loves, he pities you, he requires your heart. And he is worthy to have it. O may he now reign therein, the Lord of every motion there!
Jesus has not left me comfortless. He still sustains me with his grace. May he bring us through this wilderness, to meet and part no more!
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_December 4._