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C. H. SPURGEON
JOHN «* «* j» j» j» jt. LOUGHMAN'S^ * PICTURES **.*
OR, MORE OF HIS PLAIN TALK FOR PLAIN PEOPLE J* J* J* j*
by C: H. SPURGEON
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Philadelphia^* ^ ^» J* J*
HENRY ALTEMUS
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Copyrighted, 1896, by Henry Altemus.
HENRY ALTEMUS, MANUFACTURER, PHILADELPHIA.
PREFACE.
"JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S TALK" has not only obtained an immense circu- lation, but it has exercised an influence for good. Although its tone is rather moral than religious,, it has led many to take the first steps by which men climb to better things, and this fact has moved me to at- tempt a second book of the same character. I have continued to use the simplest form of our mother tongue, so that if any read- ers must need have refined language they had better leave these pages before they are quite disgusted. To smite evil — and espe- cially the monster evil of drink — has been my earnest endeavor, and assuredly there is need. It may be that the vice of drunk- enness is not more common than it used to be ; but it is sufficiently rampant to cause sorrow in every Christian bosom, and to lead all lovers of their race to lift up their voices against it. I hope that the plain speech of John Ploughman will help in that direction.
It is quite out of the question for the compiler of such proverbial talk as this to acknowledge the sources from which the
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4 PREFACE.
quaint sayings have been derived, for they are too numerous. I have gathered ex- pressions and verses here, there, and every- where ; and perhaps the most simple way is to deny all claim to originality, and confess myself a gatherer of other men's stuffs. It is not quite so, but that is near enough. I have, however, borrowed many rhymes from " Thomas Tusser's Points of Good Husbandry/' a book which is out of date, and forgotten, and never likely to be re- printed.
I have somewhat indulged the mirthful vein, but ever with so serious a purpose that I ask no forgiveness. Those who see a virtue in dulness have full permission to condemn, for a sufficient number will approve.
May the kindness shown to the former volume be extended to this also.
C. H. SPURGEON.
CONTENTS.
PAGE.
If the cap fits, wear it 7
Burn a candle at both ends, and it will soon be
gone 12
Hunchback sees not his own hump, but he sees his
neighbor's 19
It is hard for an empty sack to stand upright ... 23
He who would please all will lose his donkey . . 32
All are not hunters that blow the horn 38
A handsaw is a good thing, but not to shave with . 43
Don't cut off your nose to spite your face .... 50 He has a hole under his nose, and his money runs
into it 54
Every man should sweep before his own door . . 63 Scant feeding of man or horse is small profit and
sure loss 67
Never stop the plough to catch a mouse .... 75
A looking-glass is of no use to a blind man ... 79
He has got the fiddle, but not the stick .... 86 Great cry and little wool, as the man said who
clipped the sow 89
You may bend the sapling, but not the tree ... 94 A man may love his house, though he ride not on
the ridge 99
Great drinkers think themselves great men . . . 107
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6 CONTENTS.
PAGE.
Two dogs fight for a bone, and a third runs away
with it 115
He lives under the sign of the cat's foot . . . .118 He would put his finger in the pie, so he burnt his
nail off 125
You can't catch the wind in a net 130
Beware of the dog • 136
Like cat like kit 147
A horse which carries a halter is soon caught . . . 153
An old fox is shy of a trap 157
A black hen lays a white egg 161
He looks one way and pulls the other 164
Stick to it and do it 167
Don't put the cart before the horse 178
A leaking tap is a great waster 184
Fools set stools for wise men to stumble over . . 192 A man in a passion rides a horse that runs away
with him 195
Where the plough does not go, the weeds will grow 199 All is lost that is poured into a cracked dish . . . 203
Grasp all and lose all 207
Scatter and increase 209
Every bird likes its own nest 213
JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.
IF THE CAP FITS, WEAR IT.
Friendly Readers,
Last time I made a book I trod on some people's corns and bunions, and they
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8 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.
wrote me angry letters, asking, " Did you mean me ? " This time, to save them the expense of a halfpenny card, I will begin my book by saying —
Whether I please or whether I tease,
I'll give you my honest mind ; If the cap should fit, pray wear it a bit,
If not, you can leave it behind.
No offence is meant; but if anything in these pages should come home to a man, let him not send it next door, but get a coop for his own chickens. What is the use of reading or hearing for other people ? We do not eat and drink for them : why should we lend them our ears and not our mouths ? Please then, good friend, if you find a hoe on these premises, weed your own garden with it.
I was speaking with Will Shepherd the other day about our master's old donkey, and I said, " He is so old and stubborn, he really is not worth his keep.,, " No," said Will, " and worse still, he is so vicious, that I feel sure he'll do somebody a mis- chief one of these days." You know they say that walls have ears ; we were talking rather loud, but we did not know that
IF THE CAP FITS, WEAR IT. 9
there were ears to haystacks. We stared, I tell you, when we saw Joe Scroggs come from behind the stack, looking as red as a turkey-cock, and raving like mad. He burst out swearing at Will and me, like a cat spitting at a dog. His monkey was up and no mistake. He'd let us know that he was as good a man as either of us, or the two put together, for the matter of that. Talking about him in that way ; he'd do — I don't know what. I told old Joe we had never thought of him, nor said a word about him, and he might just as well save his breath to cool his porridge, for nobody meant him any harm. This only made him call me a liar, and roar the louder. My friend, Will, was walking away, holding his sides, but when he saw that Scroggs was still in a fume, he laughed outright, and turned round on him and said, " Why, Joe, we were talking about master's old donkey, and not about you ; but, upon my word, I shall never see that donkey again without thinking of Joe Scroggs." Joe puffed and blowed, but perhaps he thought it an awk- ward job, for he backed out of it, and Will and I went off to our work in rather a merry
io JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.
cue, for old Joe had blundered on the truth about himself for once in his life.
The aforesaid Will Shepherd has some- times come down rather heavy upon me in his remarks, but it has done me good. It is partly through his home thrusts that I have come to write this new book, for he thought I was idle ; perhaps I am, and per- haps I am not. Will forgets that I have other fish to fry and tails to butter ; and he does not recollect that a ploughman's mind wants to lie fallow a little, and can't give a crop every year. It is hard to make rope when your hemp is all used up, or pancakes without batter, or rook pie without the birds ; and so I found it hard to write more when I had said just about all I knew. Giving much to the poor doth increase a man's store, but it is not the same with writing ; at least, I am such a poor scribe that I don't find it come because I pull. If your thoughts only flow by drops, you can't pour them out in bucketfuls.
However, Will has ferreted me out, and I am obliged to him so far. I told him the other day, what the winkle said to the pin : " Thank you for drawing me out, but you
IF THE CAP FITS, WEAR IT n
are rather sharp about it." Still, Master Will is not far from the mark : after three hundred thousand people had bought my book it certainly was time to write another : so, though I am not a hatter, I will again turn cap-maker, and those who have heads may try on my wares ; those who have none won't touch them.
So, friends,
I am,
Yours, rough and ready,
John Ploughman.
BURN A CANDLE AT BOTiH ENDS, AND IT WILL SOON BE GONE.
WELL may he scratch his head who burns his candle at both ends; but, do what he may, his light will soon begone, and he will be all in the dark. Young Jack
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NEVER BURN A CANDLE AT BOTH ENDS. 13
Careless squandered his property, and now he is without a shoe to his foot. His was a case of " easy come, easy go : soon gotten, soon spent." He that earns an estate will keep it better than he that inherits it. As the Scotchman says, " He that gets gear before he gets wit is but a short time master of it," and so it was with Jack. His money burnt holes in his pocket. He could not get rid of it fast enough himself, and so he got a pretty set to help him, which they did by helping themselves. His fortune went like a pound of meat in a kennel of hounds. He was everybody's friend, and now he is everybody's fool.
He came in to old Alderman Greedy's money, for he was his nephew ; but, as the old saying is, the fork followed the rake, the spender was heir to the hoarder. God has been very merciful to some of us in never letting money come rolling in upon us, for most men are carried off their legs if they meet with a great wave of fortune. Many of us would have been bigger sinners if we had been trusted with larger purses. Poor Jack had plenty of pence, but little sense. Money is easier made than made
14 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.
the use of. What is hard to gather is easy to scatter. The old gentleman had lined his nest well, but Jack made the feathers fly like flakes of snow in winter-time. He got rid of his money by shovelfuls and then by cartloads. After spending the interest, he began swallowing the capital, and so killed the goose that laid the golden eggs. He squandered his silver and gold, in ways which must never be told. It would not go fast enough, and so he bought race-horses to run away with it. He got into the hands of blacklegs, and fell into company of which we shall say but little; only when such madams smile, men's purses weep : these are a well without a bottom, and the more a fool throws in, the more he may. The greatest beauty often causes the great- est ruin. Play, women, and wine are enough to make a prince a pauper.
Always taking out and never putting back soon empties the biggest sack, and so Jack found it ; but he took no notice till his last shilling bade him good-bye, and then he said he had been robbed ; like silly Tom who put his finger in the fire and said it was his bad luck.
NE VER B URN A CANDLE AT BO TH ENDS. 1 5
His money once flashed like dew in the sun ; When bills became due, of cash he had none.
" Drink and let drink " was his motto ; every day was a holiday and every holiday was a feast. The best of wines and the dearest of dainties suited his tooth, for he meant to lead a pig's life, which they say is short and sweet. Truly, he went the whole hog. The old saying is, " a glutton young, a beggar old," and he seemed set upon prov- ing it true. A fat kitchen makes a lean will ; but he can make his will on his finger-nail, and leave room for a dozen cod- icils. In fact, he will never want a will at all, for he will leave nothing behind him but old scores. Of all his estate there is not enough left to bury him with. What he threw away in his prosperity would have kept a coat on his back and a dumpling in his pot to his life's end ; but he never looked beyond his nose, and could not see to the end of that. He laughed at prudence, and now prudence frowns at him. Punishment is lame, but it comes at last. He pays the cost of his folly in body and in soul, in purse and in person, and yet he is still a fool, and would dance to
16 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.
the same tune again if he had another chance. His light purse brings him a heavy heart, but he couldn't have his cake and eat it too. As he that is drunk at night is dry in the morning, so he that lavished money when he had it feels the want of it all the more when it is gone. His old friends have quite dropped him ; they have squeezed the orange, and now they throw away the peel. As well look for milk from a pigeon as help from a fellow who loved you for your beer. Pot friends will let you go to pot, and kick you when you are down.
Jack has worse wants than the want of money, for his character is gone, and he is like a rotten nut, not worth the cracking : the neighbors say he is a ne'er-do-well, not worth calling out of a cabbage garden. No- body will employ him, for he would not earn his salt, and so he goes from pillar to post, and has not a place to lay his head in. A good name is better than a girdle of gold, and when that is gone, what has a man left ?
What has he left ? Nothing upon earth ! Yet the prodigal son has still a Father in heaven. Let him arise and go to him, ragged as he is. He may smell of the
NEVER BURN A CANDLE AT BOTH ENDS. 17
swine-trough, and yet he may run straight home, and he shall not find the door locked. The great Father will joyfully meet him, and kiss him, and cleanse him, and clothe him, and give him to begin a new and better life. When a sinner is at his worst he is not too bad for the Saviour, if he will but turn from his wickedness and cry unto God for mercy. It's a long lane that has no turning, but the best of all turns is to turn unto the Lord with all your heart. This the great Father will help the penitent prodigal to do. If the candle has been burned all away, the Sun in the heavens is still alight. Look, poor profligate : look to Jesus, and live. His sal- vation is without money and without price. Though you may not have a penny to bless yourself with, the Lord Jesus will bless you freely. The depths of your misery are not so deep as the depth of God's mercy. If you are faithful and just in confessing the sins you would have forgiven, God will be faithful and just in forgiving the sins which you confess.
But, pray, do not go on another day as you are, for this very day may be your last. If you will not heed a plain word from John
1 8 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES,
Ploughman, which he means for your good, yet recollect this old-fashioned rhyme, which was copied from a grave-stone :
" The loss of gold is great,
The loss of health is more, But the loss of Christ is such a loss As no man can restore."
HUNCHBACK SEES NOT HIS OWN
HUMP, BUT HE SEES HIS
NEIGHBOR'S.
HE points at the man in front of him, but he is a good deal more of a guy himself. He should not laugh at the
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20 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.
crooked until he is straight himself, and not then. I hate to hear a raven croak at a crow for being black. A blind man should not blame his brother for squinting, and he who has lost his legs should not sneer at the lame. Yet so it is, the rotten- est bough cracks first, and he who should be the last to speak is the first to rail. Be- spattered hogs bespatter others, and he who is full of fault finds fault. They are most apt to speak ill of others who do most ill themselves.
" We're very keen our neighbor's hump to see, We're blind to that upon our back alone; E'en though the lump far greater be, It still remains to us unknown."
It does us much hurt to judge our neigh- bors, because it flatters our conceit, and our pride grows quite fast enough without feed- ing. We accuse others to excuse ourselves. We are such fools as to dream that we are better because others are worse, and we talk as if we could get up by pulling others down. What is the good of spying holes in people's coats when we can't mend them? Talk of my debts if you mean to pay them ; if not, keep your red rag be-
ONE HUNCHBA CK LA UGHS AT ANO THER. 2 1
hind your ivory ridge. A friend's faults should not be advertised, and even a stranger's should not be published. He who brays at an ass is an ass himself, and he who makes a fool of another is a fool himself. Don't get into the habit of laughing at people, for the old saying is, " Hanging's stretching and mocking's catching."
Some must have their joke whoever they poke ; For the sake of fun mischief is done, And to air their wit full many they hit.
Jesting is too apt to turn into jeering, and what was meant to tickle makes a wound. It is a pity when my mirth is another man's misery. Before a man cracks a joke he should consider how he would like it him- self, for many who give rough blows have very thin skins. Give only what you would be willing to take: some men throw salt on others, but they smart if a pinch of it falls on their own raw places. When they get a Roland for their Oliver, or a tit for their tat, they don't like it ; yet nothing is more just. Biters deserve to be bitten.
22 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.
We may chide a friend, and so prove our friendship, but it must be done very dain- tily, or we may lose our friend for our pains. Before we rebuke another we must consider, and take heed that we are not guilty of the same thing, for he who cleanses a blot with inky fingers makes it worse. To despise others is a worse fault than any we are likely to see in them, and to make merry over their weaknesses shows our own weakness and our own malice too. Wit should be a shield for defence, and not a sword for offence. A mocking word cuts worse than a scythe, and the wound is harder to heal. A blow is much sooner forgotten than a jeer. Mocking is shock- ing. Our minister says " to laugh at in- firmity or deformity is an enormity.'* He is a man who ought to know a thing or twop and he puts a matter as pat as butter.
" Who ridicules his neighbor's frailty Scoffs at his own in more or less degree : Much wiser he who others' lets alone, And tries his hardest to correct his own."
IT IS HARD FOR AN EMPTY SACK TO STAND UPRIGHT.
SAM may try a fine while before he will make one of his empty sacks stand upright. If he were not half daft he would have left off that job before he began it,
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24 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.
and not have been an Irishman either. He will come to his wit's end before he sets the sack on its end. The old proverb, printed at the top, was made by a man who had burnt his fingers with debtors, and it just means that when folks have no money and are over head and ears in debt, as often as not they leave off being upright, and tum- ble over one way or another. He that has but four and spends five will soon need no purse, but he will most likely begin to use his wits to keep himself afloat, and take to all sorts of dodges to manage it.
Nine times out of ten they begin by mak- ing promises to pay on a certain day when it is certain they have nothing to pay with. They are as bold at fixing the time as if they had my lord's income : the day comes round as sure as Christmas, and then they haven't a penny-piece in the world, and so they make all sorts of excuses and begin to promise again. Those who are quick to promise are generally slow to perform. They promise mountains and perform mole- hills. He who gives you fair words and nothing more feeds you with an empty spoon, and hungry creditors soon grow
EMPTY SACKS, 25
tired of that game. Promises don't fill the belly. Promising men are not great favor- ites if they are not performing men. When such a fellow is called a liar he thinks he is hardly done by ; and yet he is so, as sure as eggs are eggs, and there's no denying it, as the boy said when the gardener caught him up the cherry-tree. People don't think much of a man's piety when his promises are like pie-crust, made to be broken : they generally turn crusty themselves and give him a bit of their mind. Like old Tusser, who said of such an one :
" His promise to trust to is slippery as ice, His credit much like to the chance of the dice."
Creditors have better memories than debt- ors, and when they have been taken in more than once they think it is time that the fox went to the furrier, and they had their share of his skin. Waiting for your money does not sweeten a man's temper, and a few lies on the top of it turn the milk of human kindness into sour stuff. Here is an old-fashioned saying which a bad payer may put in his pipe, and smoke or not, as he likes:
26 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.
" He that promiseth till no man will trust him, He that lieth till no man will believe him, He that borroweth till no man will lend him, Let him go where no man knoweth him."
Hungry dogs will eat dirty puddings, and people who are hard up very often do dirty actions. Blessed be God, there is some cloth still made which will not shrink in the wetting, and some honesty which holds on under misfortune ; but too often debt is the worst kind of poverty, because it breeds deceit. Men do not like to face their cir- cumstances, and so they turn their backs on the truth. They try all sorts of schemes to get out of their difficulties, and like the Banbury tinker, they make three holes in the saucepan to mend one. They are like Pedley, who burnt a penny candle in look- ing for a farthing. They borrow of Peter to pay Paul, and then Peter is let in for it. To avoid a brook they leap into a river, for they borrow at ruinous interest to pay off those who squeeze them tight. By ordering goods which they cannot pay for, and selling them for whatever they can get, they may put off one evil day, but they only bring on another. One trick
EMPTY SACKS. 27
needs another trick to back it up, and thus they go on over shoes and then over boots. Hoping that something will turn up, they go on raking for the moon in a ditch, and all the luck that comes to them is like Johnny Toy's, who lost a shilling and found a two-penny loaf. Any short cut tempts them out of the high road of honesty, and they find after awhile that they have gone miles out of their way. At last people fight shy of them, and say that they are as honest as a cat when the meat is out of reach, and they murmur that plain deal- ing is dead, and died without issue. Who wonders ? People who are bitten once are in no hurry to put their fingers into the same mouth again. You don't trust a horse's heel after it has kicked you, nor lean on a staff which has once broken. Too much cunning overdoes its work, and in the long run there is no craft which is so wise as simple honesty.
I would not be hard on a poor fellow, nor pour water on a drowned mouse : if through misfortune the man can't pay, why he can't pay, and let him say so, and do the honest thing with what little he has, and
28 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.
kind hearts will feel for him. A wise man does at first what a fool does at last. The worst of it is, that debtors will hold on long after it is honest to do so, and they try to persuade themselves that their ship will come home, or their cats will grow into cows. It is hard to sail over the sea in an egg-shell, and it is not much easier to pay your way when your capital is all gone. Out of nothing comes nothing, and you may turn your nothing over a long time be- fore it will grow into a ten-pound note. The way to Babylon will never bring you to Jerusalem, and borrowing, and diving deep- er into debt, will never get a man out of difficulties.
The world is a ladder for some to go up and some to go down, but there is no need to lose your character because you lose your money. Some people jump out of the frying-pan into the fire; for fear of being paupers they become rogues. You find them slippery customers ; you can't bind them to anything : you think you have got them, but you can't hold them any longer than you can keep a cat in a wheelbarrow. The can jump over nine hedges, and nine
EMPTY SACKS, 29
more after that. They always deceive you, and then plead the badness of the times, or the sickness of their family. You cannot help them, for there's no telling where they are. It is always best to let them come to the end of their tether, for when they are cleaned out of their old rubbish they may perhaps begin in a better fashion. You can- not get out of a sack what is not in it, and when a man's purse is as bare as the back of your hand, the longer you patch him up the barer he will become, like Bill Bones, who cut up his coat to patch his waistcoat, and then used his trousers to mend his coat, and at last had to lie in bed for want of a rag to cover him.
Let the poor, unfortunate tradesman hold to his honesty as he would to his life. The straight road is the shortest cut. Better break stones on the road than break the law of God. Faith in God should save a Christ- ian man from anything like a dirty action ; let him not even think of playing a trick, for you cannot touch pitch without being defiled therewith. Christ and a crust is riches, but a broken character is the worst of bankruptcy. All is not lost while up-
30 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.
Tightness remains ; but still it is hard to make an empty sack stand upright.
There are other ways of using the old saying. It is hard for a hypocrite to keep up his profession. Empty sacks can't stand upright in a church any better than in a granary. Prating does not make saints, or there would be plenty of them. Some talkatives have not religion enough to flavor soup for a sick grasshopper, and they have to be mighty cunning to keep the game going. Long prayers and loud professions only deceive the simple, and those who see further than the surface soon spy out the wolf under the sheepskin.
All hope of salvation by our own good works is a foolish attempt to make an empty sack stand upright. We are undeserving, ill-deserving, hell-deserving sinners at the best. The law of God must be kept without a single failure if wre hope to be accepted by it ; but there is not one among us who has lived a day without sin. No, we are a lot of empty sacks, and unless the merits of Christ are put into us to fill us up, we cannot stand in the sight of God. The
EMPTY SACKS. 31
law condemns us already, and to hope for salvation by it is to run to the gallows to prolong our lives. There is a full Christ for empty sinners, but those who hope to fill themselves will find their hopes fail them.
HE WHO WOULD PLEASE ALL
WILL LOSE HIS DONKEY AND BE
LAUGHED AT FOR HIS PAINS.
HERE'S a queer picture, and this is the story which goes with it; you shall have it just as I found it in an old book. (32)
THE OLD MAN AND HIS DONKEY. S3