_The first duty of the Married_, Chastity.
1. THIS duty is so manifest, that no person whatever can pretend ignorance of it. The law of God, the law of nature, and the laws of all well ordered societies enjoin it. The violation of this unties the marriage-knot, and dissolves the marriage-covenant. For our Lord himself, who utterly disallows of other divorces, yet allows divorce in case of adultery. “But may the person wronged admit the wrongdoer again, after the offence is known?” I answer, they may, provided the offender give full, satisfactory proof of amendment. We read not any command to the contrary. But if the offender persist in sin, then the innocent person, having full proof thereof, is bound to withdraw from the sinner.
2. Let any who find strong temptations to this sin, 1. Constantly and conscientiously perform private duties. The blessing of God hereon will make him conqueror, over what before seemed most unconquerable. 2. Be diligent in your calling, that you may have no leisure for inflaming imaginations. It is certain, an idle person, if occasion and constitution serve, will sooner or later prove adulterous. But diligence joined with hearty prayer, will preserve a man pure and undefiled. 3. Be exactly temperate. It is easy to put out the fiercest fire, by withdrawing the fewel. If therefore you would be chaste in your marriage, be sparing in your food. 4. Carefully shun every temptation and all opportunities of sin: especially, shun as a rock the company of any person apt to tempt, or to be tempted; and consider, that the coldest water will be hot, if it be set near the fire.
3. These directions are such as agree to all, married or unmarried. There remains another help peculiar to the former, the due use of marriage. The ordinances of God will answer their end, if our abuse of them do not hinder. Now God has ordained marriage for this end, among others, to prevent fornication. Wherefore let it be used in the manner it ought, and it will surely answer its end. And in this respect, _the wife hath not power over her own body, but the husband_. Neither _hath the husband power over his own body, but the wife_. It is not in the choice of either, whether to live with the other, or not. But they are bound in conscience so to do, and cannot refuse it without grievous sin. There may indeed be a separation for a time, if needful affairs require. But it is not lawful for either the man or the woman to leave the other totally or finally.
4. In this their society two things are to be observed, that it be sanctified and temperate. First, it must be _sanctified_, that is, made lawful and holy to them _by the word of_ God _and prayer_. The word of God clearly shews the lawfulness of it. For God has said expresly, _Marriage is honourable among all men, and the bed undefiled_. But let it also be _sanctified_ or made holy _by prayer_. Solemnly pray for the blessing of God upon his ordinance, not forgetting to return him particular thanks for his infinite goodness herein. That this is requisite none can deny, that will not deny the authority of St. _Paul_. For he affirms, that marriage, as well as meat and drink, is sanctified by _prayer and thanksgiving_. As therefore it is a brutish profaneness, for any man to sit down to his table, as an horse to the manger, without asking the blessing of God first, and to return from it, as a fox from his prey, without praising him that gave him food and appetite; so it is great licentiousness for married persons to come together, as it were brute beasts, without either prayer or thanksgiving. The hope of posterity, the stay of old age, the support of every man’s house, the supply of the church and common-wealth, hang upon the fruit of marriage. Is it then more than needs, to ask the blessing of God in a thing of so great importance? Surely we should bring his curse upon us, were we either to forget it as needless, or despise it as ridiculous. Yea, whereas marriage is instituted in part for the subduing inordinate desires, it cannot answer that end, without God’s blessing; which how can we expect, if we scorn to ask it? Certainly, the men that use marriage in a brutish manner, not seeing God therein, nor sanctifying it to themselves by these means, will thereby become more and more brutish. Wherefore let no man scoff at a duty plainly commanded by God: but let us learn to know the full efficacy of prayer, and to reap the fruit of it in all things.