5. It must, secondly, Be temperate. We are always to remember, God ordained marriage chiefly for the increase of mankind, and not to kindle lustful desires, but to quench them. I confess, we should take great heed of laying snares upon mens consciences, and must be very careful not to bind them, where God has not bound them. But this is a sure rule: the quantity of every thing, must be suited to the end. This being considered, the married are not to provoke desires, but allay them, when they provoke themselves. They must not strive to inflame the passions when they are cool, but when they are moved of themselves, to assuage them. In a word, marriage should be used as sparingly, as consists with the need of the persons married. A temperate use promotes purity: excess inflames lust, and inclines to adultery. Wherefore the foregoing rule should be carefully observed, that the married come no oftener together, than is needful to extinguish natural desires, when they would otherwise become troublesome to them. Now the sanctified use of marriage is also an help to the temperate use of it. But they seldom fail to exceed, who do not take care to make all things holy by _prayer and thanksgiving_.
6. Perhaps one might add, it should ever be accompanied with chearfulness and willingness. They must neither deny themselves to each other, nor behave with grudging and forwardness; but rather with readiness and all demonstrations of sincere affection. The scripture plainly testifies this, by the very term _benevolence_ or _good-will_. For no man can call that good-will, which is done churlishly and discontentedly: a behaviour that naturally tends to alienate the heart, and create suspicions of estrangement of affection.