_Of the_ Wife’_s peculiar_ Duties.
1. THE special duties of a wife may be reduced to two heads, To know herself the inferior, and to behave as such. First, She must know herself the inferior; she must be thoroughly convinced, that she is not her husband’s equal, without which there can be no content, either in her heart, or in her house. Where the woman counts herself equal with her husband, (much more, if she count herself better) the root of all good carriage is withered, the fountain thereof dried up. Whoever therefore would be a good wife, let this sink into her inmost soul, “My husband is my superior, my better: he has the right to rule over me. God has given it him, and I will not strive against God. He is my superior, my better.” Unless she has learnt this lesson perfectly, unless she has it at her fingers ends, if her very heart does not thoroughly agree thereto, there will be nothing between them but wrangling, repining, striving: so that their life will be little else than a continual battle, a trying for masteries. Let us grant, you have more wit and understanding than him, more readiness of speech, more skill in business. Yet consider; your servant may exceed you in all these, as much as you do him. And yet you would be loath that your servant should claim an equality either with him or you. Know then, a man may be superior in place to him, who is his superior in gifts: and know likewise, thou dost abuse the gifts of God, if thence thou infringest thy husband’s superiority. Wherefore, with all thy understanding, understand this, that God has made him thy governor and ruler, and thee his inferior, to be ruled by him, and to submit to him in all things. Though he be of meaner birth and smaller capacity, tho’ he had no wealth or name before thou didst marry him, yet from that hour the case is changed, and he is no longer beneath thee, but above thee. Set it down therefore as a conclusion never to be called in question. “My husband is my superior.”
2. The wife knowing herself the inferior, must, secondly, behave as such, by reverence and subjection to her husband. First, By reverence. She owes this to her husband, as much as the children or servants do to her: yea, as they do to him; only hers is sweetened with more love and familiarity. She is no less bound to _reverence her husband_, than are the rest of the family. This alone is the difference; she may be more familiar, not more rude, as being more dear, not less subject than they.
3. And this reverence must be both inward and outward. First, she must have an inward, dutiful respect for her husband. She must regard him as God’s deputy, not looking to his person but his place, not thinking so much, what he is, as whose officer. So the apostle, _Let the wife see that she reverence her husband_. Of all things, let her not fail in this. He here prescribes such a loving, not slavish, fear, as stands with the closest union of heart. And from this fear, she abhors and shuns, as the greatest evil which can befal her, next to the breaking the commandments of God, to displease or offend her husband. We stand in due awe of God, when we loath the breach of his commandments, as the greatest of all evils. And the wife duly stands in awe of her husband, when next to that evil, she shuns the disobeying or grieving him, who is above her, next to God. I know many ♦women care as little for their husbands, as their husbands do for them. But if thou wilt ever please God, take much pains with thy heart, to make it stand in awe of thy husband. As a wife grows in this, so may she look to get the better of all her other infirmities: as she is careless herein, so shall she be pestered with various other evils. “But how shall she bring her heart to this?” By looking thro’ her husband to God the author of marriage, and putting herself often in mind, not of his deserts, but of God’s ordinance. The husband is to the wife _the image and glory of_ God: the power that is given to him is God’s originally, and his by God’s appointment. Look not therefore on the qualities of thy husband, but upon his place. If thou despisest him, the contempt redounds upon God, who hath ordained him to be thy head. If therefore thy heart be seasoned with the fear of God, thou wilt fear thy husband also.
♦ ‘woman’ replaced with ‘women’