Friday 21. In the evening I went to the chapel; there was no preaching, but a private meeting. Having been much refreshed, especially in the singing that hymn _Wrestling Jacob_, I had no reason to repent going. My desires were much enlarged after God, with a hatred to sin. O that I may indeed forsake it, and hate it as deadly poison!
Sunday 23. In the morning we went to the new chapel. Mr. _H――――_ opened it, his text was in _2 Chronicles vi. 41_. _Let thy Priests O Lord God, be cloathed with salvation, and let thy saints rejoice in goodness._ He concluded with saying, that as God had given us a more convenient place to worship him in, we ought in gratitude to let our lives and conversations be more exemplary than ever before.
Monday 24, and Tuesday 25. I spent most part of these days in retirement, my mind was much composed, and my thoughts stayed on the things of God.
Wednesday 26. This afternoon we came to our own house. I spent the evening in a little room by myself. I found enlargement in prayer, and my soul much blest.
Thursday 27. When I retired in the morning to private prayer, I experienced great power and sweetness in the duty. My mind was kept in a serious frame, till I went out of my chamber, when I gave way to fretting. O how many temptations are we liable to! And while we endeavour to shun one, we often fall into another. When I avoid levity, I too often fall into fretting. We have need to have the wisdom of the serpent with the harmlessness of the dove.
Friday 28, and Saturday 29. Were spent comfortably. I had great sweetness in prayer, and much of the spirit of it.
Sunday 30. I tasted the good word of God in reading the 11th chapter of the _Hebrews_. O how much did those excellent ones of the earth endure for their blessed Master, while I who have every means of encouragement I can desire, (and far more than I deserve) am careless and supine in working out my own salvation. But since thou hast convinced me of my error, O Lord, do thou help me to amend it, and let me now turn to thee, with all my heart and soul.
Tuesday, July 2, and Wednesday 3. Both these days I was ill and in violent pain. On Thursday morning I endeavoured to look to God, and was relieved. O how good is he to me, the unworthiest of his creatures. Lord give me a thankful heart. I was hindered going to preaching all this week, by reason of a violent cold. But if that was sanctified, I have need to be thankful, and to bless God for afflicting me.
Saturday 20. Tho’ I was very busy all the morning, my mind was kept in a serious praying frame. Lord make me truly thankful for this mercy!
Sunday 21. We went to St. _John_’s church. I found my soul blest at the sacrament, and felt an earnest desire for faith. O may it always continue! “Lord give me faith;” Be all my cry; and he that gives me the desire, will fulfil it.
Wednesday 24. In the evening we went down to my aunt _B――――s_, where we parted with my dear friend Miss _H――――_. I was much concerned at taking leave, but I comforted myself with the hope of seeing her soon again: if we should not meet again in this vale of tears, may we meet where crying, and pain, and death are over.
Tuesday 30. I was in a lukewarm frame all the day, but in the evening as my uncle and others were speaking their states to one another, I could scarce help shedding tears, to think I had made so little use of all the means I enjoy. When I came up to bed, I found a great earnestness for faith, which I prayed for with something of a confidence that I should receive, till unbelief stept in: then I thought I had not repented enough, had not forsaken my sins long enough, and at last I yielded, rose from my knees, and lost the blessing which I might have received, had I held on. May I learn more wisdom for the future, and when I get such a precious moment, improve it, and not so shamefully yield to the enemy of my soul.
Sunday, August 4. I went to church, and was much blest, particularly at the sacrament.
Friday 16. We had the pleasure of the Rev. Mr. _John Wesley_’s company to tea, and in the evening he preached on _2 Corinthians vi. 2_. _Now is the accepted time: now is the day of salvation._
Sunday 18. In the morning Mr. _Wesley_ preached on _Mark ix. 23_. My soul was exceedingly blest. He seemed to speak as exactly to my state, as if I had mentioned it to him. He answered every objection that has oftentimes occurred to my mind against believing, and then gave me encouragement to come to Christ, and believe in him. But when I came home, my mind was much hurried, so that I lost the blessing I had received. O! how unfaithful have I hitherto been, to the manifold favours God has bestowed on me! Lord pardon the past, and make me more faithful for the future.