Thursday, May 17. I was greatly distressed with a sense of my vileness; appearing to myself too bad to walk on God’s earth. God was pleased to let me see my inward pollution to such a degree, that I almost despaired of being made holy. In the afternoon I met with the Indians, according to appointment, and preached to them. And while riding to them, I seemed to confide in God; and afterwards had some enlargement in prayer; vital piety and holiness appeared sweet to me, and I longed for the perfection of it.
Lord’s-day, May 20. I preached twice to the poor Indians, and enjoyed some freedom in speaking. My soul longed for assistance from above, all the while; for I saw I had no strength for that work. Afterwards I preached to the Irish people; and several seemed much concerned, with whom I discoursed afterwards with freedom and power. Blessed be God for any assistance to an unworthy worm.
Lord’s-day, May 27. I visited my Indians in the morning, and attending upon a _funeral_ among them, was affected to see their _Heathenish practices_. O that they might be “turned from darkness to light!” Afterwards I got a considerable number of them together, and preached to them; and observed them very attentive. I then preached to the white people, and several seemed much concerned; especially one who had been educated a Roman catholic. Blessed be the Lord for any help.
Monday, June 11. This day the _presbytery_ met at Newark, in order to my _ordination_. I was very weak and disordered in body; yet endeavoured to repose my confidence in God. At three in the afternoon I preached my probation-sermon, from Acts xxvi. 17, 18, being a text given me for that end. Afterwards I passed an examination before the _presbytery_. My mind was burdened with the greatness of that charge I was about to take upon me: so that I could not sleep this night, though very weary and in great need of rest.
Tuesday, June 12. I was this morning further examined, respecting my experimental acquaintance with Christianity. At ten o’clock my _ordination_ was attended. I was affected with a sense of the important trust committed to me; yet was composed, and solemn, without distraction: and I then (as many times before) gave myself up to God, to be for him, and not for another. O that I might always ♦be engaged in the service of God, and duly remember the solemn charge I have received, in the presence of God, angels, and men.
♦ “he” replaced with “be”