Sunday 28. This morning the family went to the house of God, but a violent cold confined me at home; however, the Lord was present there also, for my soul was greatly refreshed in private duty. Indeed all the day I found great sweetness and comfort in my soul, though my cold unfitted me for any set waiting upon God.
Wednesday 31. This night I determined to sit up till I had begun the New-Year, which I accordingly did, spending the time in reading, meditation, and prayer, and I found it comfortable and profitable to wait upon God in the stillness of the night. O may the resolutions which I this night made, be brought to good effect!
Thursday, January 8, 1767. This day blessed be God my soul was much alive, and my desires and expectations quickened by hearing that Mrs. _M――――n_, a person in our class had found the peace of God. I found much attention and sweetness likewise under Mr. _R――――s_ sermon in the evening.
Saturday 10. Mr. _R――――s_ preached upon _Isaiah xliii. 25, 26_. _I, even I am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake._ My soul was in a waiting, expecting frame. Lord, how long shall it be e’re thou satisfy my longing heart with thy love, the thing I desire above all others. I can truly say,
“Of all thou hast in earth, or heaven, Let love alone be mine.”
Sunday 11. We went to church, had a sermon on _Ecclesiastes ix. 10_. It was an exceeding pretty discourse, but not a word of Christ in it. The minister exhorted us to improve our time in works of piety, charity, and the duty of our respective callings, but never told us how we were to be enabled to do all these things, presuming, I suppose that his auditory needed no such information. Towards the latter end he allowed us a little innocent diversion, and concluded with saying that by a diligent improvement of our time in all the duties he had recited, we should recommend ourselves to God, and be accounted worthy to be admitted into heaven. I found much ♦thankfulness that I was better instructed. I was at preaching in the following fortnight but twice: all this time I was sometimes in earnest, then too careless. Lord, pardon what is past, and O let me for the future give all diligence to make my calling and election sure.
♦ “thankness” replaced with “thankfulness” per Errata
Sunday 25. I did not go out in the morning, but I spent the time very comfortably, in reading the blessed word of God; and in the afternoon I read Mr. _Hervey’s meditations_, which were also exceeding sweet and profitable.
Sunday, February 1. I went to the sacrament this day at _Trinity_ church. This being the place where the remains of my dear Miss _L――――y_ were deposited, it brought many serious reflections, but they did not draw me off the duty, in which I was more immediately engaged. For this week past I have at times found a measure of seriousness and enlargement in private duty. I scarcely know what state my soul has been in this fortnight past, not having had time to write. I fear I am falling into the former Laodicean spirit. Lord Jesus, quicken me; O save me for thy mercy’s sake.
Saturday 28. This being my birth-day, I would have spent in retirement, but was prevented; however I spent two hours herein exceeding comfortably. O may I spend each day and moment in the service of him, who has so graciously preserved me to this time! Surely it is of the Lord’s mercies that I have not long since been consumed, because his tender compassions fail not.
Sunday, March 8. My heart was much drawn towards God this morning, both before and at church. Friday evening a young stranger who appeared quite illiterate, agreeably surprised us with a connected sensible and profitable discourse on, _Behold God is my salvation_. O when shall I experimentally say these words? Lord, why not now?
Sunday 15. I spent the morning very comfortably in reading the scripture with Mr. _Wesley_’s notes; in the afternoon Mr. _Hervey_’s sweet meditations on the starry heavens. I found my soul in a serious thoughtful frame, till I was discomposed by a trifling incident.
Sunday 29. I found my soul much led out in prayer, even while I was reading, as I did during the latter end of the last week; blessed be God for it.
Sunday, April 5. I was greatly distressed at church, and afterwards, upon account of my sins, and at times was even ready to believe that the Lord would cast me off for ever. All I could say was,
“Guilty I stand before thy face, I feel on me thy wrath abide, ’Tis just the sentence should take place, ’Tis just――but O thy son hath died.”
In the evening we had a profitable and lively love-feast, at which my poor soul found some refreshment. O may it be daily fed with the bread of life!
“This manna to my soul be given, Sent from the tree of life in heaven.”